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Post by snowwhite on Feb 26, 2007 17:02:23 GMT
Haha, yes its back =]
well ill start off.
absolutely crap day. I didnt get to sleep last night, i just couldnt stop thinking about things, and was crying all the time, and i dont know why. well i sorta know why..but its silly. So i switched on Shameless and just sat watching that. Then today at school i had a big panic attack. i hate hate hate hate HATE it! i got so scared, i couldnt breathe and i just started crying, so my friend took me out of my lesson and took me to see our form tutor, and she calmed down and told us just to sit outside her p.e office until lunch, then she'd come speak to me. so after she spoke to me she just told me to go to relax, so naturally..went up the field to have a smoke *hits self* another reason why i hate being panicky and stressed, i do things that i hate but that relax me.
So yes, dont want to go back to school. But i know i have to and its just something i have to face. And i did something real stupid the other night *hits self again*
Stupid child
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Post by EvenInDeath46 on Feb 26, 2007 19:56:23 GMT
^ Aww... poor Keely. These panic attacks are really serious, aren't they? And please don't smoke. If it's a habit, please try to stop before you damage your lungs. Hmmm... well I have nothing to rant about really. Well, I had TWO big projects to do over the weekend and worked on them until 12:30 AM last night... or actually, today. It wasn't that bad, I guess. I've stayed up MUCH LATER than 12:30 AM to finish up a project before.
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Post by snowwhite on Feb 27, 2007 7:55:21 GMT
No its not a habit, i havent smoked for.....7 months, and i only had like...a quarter of a cigerette and then realised why i didnt like it anyways (coz it tastes yucky) but it helped calm me down :S
well, school today (its 7,56 am at the moment) i had a pretty bad night last night, sat up listening to music and then My Immortal came on, i just broke down, soaked my pillow its fair to say. Then sat in my window for about 2 hours (up until about 3am) listening to music still and still crying. and it hit me... I miss my dad, i hate him, but i miss him
And i hope i dont start panicing again today. i have my phone with me incase i want to ring my sister. But my mum doesnt even care. i told her that i was panicing and that i missed my german lesson so i could sit with my tutor for a while and she was just like "oh ok" and walked off
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Post by mrbreathe on Feb 27, 2007 21:58:05 GMT
I'm not actaully angry, but I'm so confused. There's this girl in my town who's just died, i've only met her once and that was briefly. But last night [the day she died, it was also her 18th birthday, what a way to go hey?] i was in bed and then just started thinking to myself, 'Where is she know?' 'Is she in Heaven?' and then i burst out crying and keep hearing her voice. I wasn't angry or anything, jsut confused and afraid, and i'm pretty sure this isn't where it's supposed to be...
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Robynn
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Post by Robynn on Feb 27, 2007 23:18:07 GMT
No its not a habit, i havent smoked for.....7 months, and i only had like...a quarter of a cigerette and then realised why i didnt like it anyways (coz it tastes yucky) but it helped calm me down :S well, school today (its 7,56 am at the moment) i had a pretty bad night last night, sat up listening to music and then My Immortal came on, i just broke down, soaked my pillow its fair to say. Then sat in my window for about 2 hours (up until about 3am) listening to music still and still crying. and it hit me... I miss my dad, i hate him, but i miss him And i hope i dont start panicing again today. i have my phone with me incase i want to ring my sister. But my mum doesnt even care. i told her that i was panicing and that i missed my german lesson so i could sit with my tutor for a while and she was just like "oh ok" and walked off maybe someone from the school needs to ring up your mum and let her know how bad the anxiety is for you, and that you aren't faking it. I don't think that she doesn't care as much as doesn't understand how badly it's affecting you. Those who've never had a panic attack don't really understand what it's like and they think we're just being sissies. Is that an option for you?
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Robynn
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Post by Robynn on Feb 27, 2007 23:19:37 GMT
I'm not actaully angry, but I'm so confused. There's this girl in my town who's just died, i've only met her once and that was briefly. But last night [the day she died, it was also her 18th birthday, what a way to go hey?] i was in bed and then just started thinking to myself, 'Where is she know?' 'Is she in Heaven?' and then i burst out crying and keep hearing her voice. I wasn't angry or anything, jsut confused and afraid, and i'm pretty sure this isn't where it's supposed to be... If you were hearing her voice, then she's in Heaven... She came to comfort you. She felt that her death had touched you, and came to let you know she's ok now. That makes you pretty special.
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Post by imaginarywhisper on Feb 28, 2007 0:59:37 GMT
Tennis tryouts got cancelled today. I was looking so forward to it, too! *Mumble mumble* Stupid rain...
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Post by snowwhite on Feb 28, 2007 7:43:06 GMT
maybe someone from the school needs to ring up your mum and let her know how bad the anxiety is for you, and that you aren't faking it. I don't think that she doesn't care as much as doesn't understand how badly it's affecting you. Those who've never had a panic attack don't really understand what it's like and they think we're just being sissies. Is that an option for you? Hmm yeah i guess so. If it keeps happening they will ring up.
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Post by stratlady on Feb 28, 2007 19:18:22 GMT
I missed that thread!!!
@keely: I have to agree with Robyn on the idea that I too, I think that your mom doesn't really understand how it affects you. *hug* But just don't give up. Things will sort themselves out eventually.
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Post by snowwhite on Mar 1, 2007 17:00:58 GMT
spoke to the counsellor again yesterday. Didnt help in the slightest
Well...will be a slightly...adventerous day tomorrow. Alcohol yeees. Dont care if i get in trouble.
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Robynn
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Post by Robynn on Mar 1, 2007 19:46:58 GMT
Nothing shouts louder as a cry for help when kids start drinking and doing drugs, especially when they've been asking for help and no one hears them.
Be careful! This is how alcoholics are made. The drunk will make everything all right for a while, but then they all come back when you get sober again. Getting drunk right away appears to be the answer, but if you keep doing that, you'll not only have the anxiety worse than before, the alcohol will bring more troubles of their own to add to yours. I know this from experience. I'm not just making shit up so you won't get drunk.
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Devilfish
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Post by Devilfish on Mar 2, 2007 7:38:43 GMT
I'll throw my two pence in here, keely mate most people (especialy those who are old enough to drink) have gone out and got drunk cause somethings gone wrong, i have. im sure robynn has and the list will go on.
And everyone who has gone and done it, will tell you it doesnt help. cause when you drink alcohol one of two things will happen on the night. 1. you feel better and happy. 2. you get really really depressed at all the shit thats happening, 2 always seems to happen to me.
not to mention the fact you will wake up in the morning feeling like shit, no better off than before your first drink. and in the end it doesnt help one single bit. alcohol isnt the answer. alcohol is for when your on a night out with your mates, not for a resort toa problem.
Hope this helps mate, i hope you feel better.
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Post by snowwhite on Mar 2, 2007 15:47:17 GMT
Yeah i understand what you are both saying, and agree completely with you. But im not doing it as a way to escape from my problems or whatever, i know it doesnt help and it doesnt work. Its merely because im fed up with taking everything in life so seriously. I know theres a time and a place for drinking and what not; but schools boring, i dont learn anything, theres no point in me going yet i am still going. it just livens things up a bit.
But yeah, i understand what you're saying. Ive always been wary of Stopping myself from drinking when im unhappy with the intention of hoping it makes me more happy. I lived with an alchoholic for 4 years, it wasnt a pretty sight. So dont worry =] I just get sometimes get pissed off with all the high standards i set myself (which i do, alot) and just lose it for a while, do things without thinking of the "ifs" and "buts"
Anyways; on the plus side, me and my friend have decided to join the choir, with the hope that atleast one aspect of school will be enjoyable.
Im in a strangely good mood today
*i didnt drink anything by the way, decided against it* so yeah its not alcohol having an effect on me. its weird, seems as for the past week ive been planning my own bloody death over and over again, and now im in a happy smiley hyper mood
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Post by mrbreathe on Mar 2, 2007 16:47:02 GMT
Yay!!! Good for you!! ;D My day went quite good today. Was told I have a lovely, firm bum. It made me proud.
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Devilfish
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Post by Devilfish on Mar 3, 2007 2:15:48 GMT
Proud of ya keely mate, not saying dont drink. even though you shouldnt at your age i shouldnt have but i did. but i didnt go over the top, thats what you need to learn, you need to know when to stop. and you'll be fine
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