MissKitty
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Post by MissKitty on Mar 11, 2007 8:08:10 GMT
I'm fucking sick to death of falling into this hole, where everything is always the fucking same and my mother goes and thinks that it's always about her! I'm always expected to fucking do everything and watch as she just sits on her fucking ass all fucking day long!!!!!!!!!!!!
She thinks I'm not trying to get a job, she thinks that I'm a complete waste of time and that I'm lazy! Where as I'm the one who cooks, I'm the one who cleans up the dishes and I'm the one feeding all of the animals as well!!!!
She thinks that I can't look after these kittens, while I managed to feed every single animal in this house, and myself and keep things in order, for two full weeks on my salary! For fucks sake, I'm sick to death of living here and being told what I should be doing with my life! It's MY fucking life, and what I do with it is MY choice!!!!!!!!!!! End of fucking story!
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Robynn
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Post by Robynn on Mar 11, 2007 15:21:31 GMT
Well its not 100% whether or not we will more or not...its up in the air. And the waiting is defently the hardest!! I usually think that, you know "it just wasn't meant to be" and the "there is something better" but all the houses, expect this one, we can afford aren't the greatest(nor are they in good neighbhorhoods)...so I think the only way will get "something better" is if my mother wins a billion dollars. It just angers me more to see my mother upset...shes been through a lot, this was the "golden moment". Guess is wasn't as golden as it was supposed to be. I was in that spot not too long ago. I was being asked to move out of the house I was renting, so family could move in. I was on disability due to my asthma, and wasn't making but a whole $900 a month on that (rent was $500 and car payment was $300...so you do the math and let me know how it ends up), couldn't afford the welfare apartments, and it was getting hopeless. All of a sudden, this place opened up (was the first place I'd called, since I'd lived here before, and I knew the rent was low and it's in the nice part of town). BUT, I searched for months for a place to live, thinking that I'd end up homeless due to being kicked out cuz my landlord was too old to take care of himself, and his family not giving a shit about anyone but their own convenience. I got the best apartment in the complex, here! So chin up.....things might be right around the corner, waiting for your mom to catch up.
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Robynn
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Post by Robynn on Mar 11, 2007 15:33:10 GMT
I'm fucking sick to death of falling into this hole, where everything is always the fucking same and my mother goes and thinks that it's always about her! I'm always expected to fucking do everything and watch as she just sits on her fucking ass all fucking day long!!!!!!!!!!!!
She thinks I'm not trying to get a job, she thinks that I'm a complete waste of time and that I'm lazy! Where as I'm the one who cooks, I'm the one who cleans up the dishes and I'm the one feeding all of the animals as well!!!!
She thinks that I can't look after these kittens, while I managed to feed every single animal in this house, and myself and keep things in order, for two full weeks on my salary! For fucks sake, I'm sick to death of living here and being told what I should be doing with my life! It's MY fucking life, and what I do with it is MY choice!!!!!!!!!!! End of fucking story! Well, just came in to the bedroom to check on my babies, and check emails and the like, before I sit in the living room waiting till my parents get back from the hospital....Yes, my mother had to be carted off to the hospital in the ambulance, cause she couldnt walk at all...I bet we're gonna have to have an extremely expensive hip replacement for her now....[/color] So you're mad at mom because she's disabled and can't do the things she's supposed to be able to do as a mother? Betcha she's uber frustrated that she CAN'T be the mother she's supposed to be and the anger at herself manifests in other ways. Even though she doesn't SAY it, I'm sure she appreciates you taking care of the house and her, but being angry all the time at a disabled person, for their disability...come on now.....
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MissKitty
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Post by MissKitty on Mar 11, 2007 19:03:09 GMT
^^ The only reason she had fallen over at all that day was because she had taken too many of similar medications and they were having an overdose effect!
You know, when SHE wants to do something, such as spend all of the money that isnt there, then she can walk just fine, but as soon as someone says she isnt allowed to do that cause we dont have money, then she gets all defensive and claims she's depressed.
She's just selfish, just like her sister, it's as simple as that. And she only wants me to do the things she never did in life, which are things I dont want to do
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Robynn
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Post by Robynn on Mar 12, 2007 1:28:12 GMT
I'm gonna give it to you straight. Ever think you don't see the big picture of your mom and know the why behind the actions? Ever think you see what you want to see, and not what's really happening? This is why I say that. I had the same attitude toward my mom when I was your age. Now that I'm a mother (of an 18 year old, mind you!) I know exactly why she did the things she did. Had she told me the why's back then, I'd have laughed at her, just like you do to your mom.
When you move out, will be able to totally take care of yourself, including the cooking and cleaning, and budgeting your money? Will you be able to hold down a job because you're dependable and stable and won't cause trouble at work, and DO your work without slacking off?
If you answered "yes" to any of the above, and who really taught you that? The means of HOW you learned it doesn't matter with these questions, just that you DID learn them.
When you're my age, with or without children, you'll realize that sometimes we have to be "mean" to get a lesson learned, and that it almost kills us to have to do that our children. We've tried all the other ways of teaching, but like most people on the planet, our children will not learn by our mistakes, but will have to make them themselves, and fall on their faces and feel the pain of said lesson.
There's more, but I'll quit, as I already know you're blowing off everything I've just said.
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Post by stratlady on Mar 12, 2007 18:45:44 GMT
@jess: This is so freaking sucky!!!! I hope things will turn out better for you with this house (well, I seem to understand that you still had a chance to get it). In any case, I'll put you guys into my prayers and if you guys don't get this one, I'll pray that the next one is much better than what you lost. *hug* You guys don't give up and let this get to you!!
@robyn: Those maths were kinda scary...
@tara: You know Tara, I understand your general feeling here. See, it's the same thing with my gramma...nothing we do for her is good enough and over time, at least for me, it makes me a bit pissed off. Because I try, and even if I know that she is sick, sometimes, it's not enough to justify everything. Unfortunately.
But here is catch: For me not to feel pissy at her, I need to put myself in her shoes, and learn to see the world through her eyes. And let me tell you, this isn't easy. But if I wanna get passed the negative feelings this is what I need to do. And the same goes on with you and your mom. I don't mean to repeat everything Robyn said, so sorry if I do that. But I just wanna emphasize to you the fact that being angry isn't doing you anything good, and that long-term, it will drestroy who you are physically, psychologically and emotionally. Hence, why you need to learn to control it now. And trying to understand your mom's perception of things will help you a lot in not getting so angry at her.
And by the way, understanding your mom's perception doesn't mean that you agree with her or that it justifies the way she acts toward you. But I believe that understanding is important in order for you to move on. Good luck hun. *hug* Hope you and your mom will eventually patch things up a bit and get better.
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Post by stratlady on Mar 12, 2007 19:01:13 GMT
Okay last week was the worst and I feel sooo bad for my gramma.
Long story short, she had back pain, which would come and go, come and go and sort of getting better...so we assumed that she was just being whiny as usual. (My gramma has always been VERY whiny, so we are used to that).
However, at some point my mom and my aunt took her blood pressure ( she always felt a bit vomiting too) and dear God, it was high. Very high. And because the next day it wasn't better, and she was again, complaining of really bad back pain, we send her to the hospital. >_<
A good 4 hours of waiting and an x-ray later, we are told that she has 2 crushed vertebra. None of us as any idea when that happened and how.
And so, now, gramma is still in the hospital because her blood pressure is high...I haven't seen her there, but yeah, apparently it ain't so good because she is sooooo off. Plus they need to tie her to her bed/chair so that she doesn't moves. Hopefully her blood pressure will get better, and she will be back home (well okay. I'd rather my aunt's home, this time, it's her turn after all...) because really the hospital will kill her. Litteraly. Pple there don't even care if she eats or not
So you guys, thoughts and prayers please. None of us really wanna go through another fulneral...
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Robynn
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Post by Robynn on Mar 13, 2007 7:01:20 GMT
:eek: Sorry to hear about Gramma. People her age can crush vertabrae pretty easily, with osteoperosis and all, but still, it's hard. I hope her blood pressure gets under control sooner than later. It's fairly easy to control, they just have to find the right med for it. As for her back, I hope they can help her with that also.
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Post by stratlady on Mar 13, 2007 22:54:12 GMT
^^Well technically, she will be out tomorrow.
And she is off to live with my aunt...although my aunt doesn't seem happy about it but whatever.
And she is doing much better - aside from her back. She talks about her father/husband; which is a good thing, because it means that she is back to her oldself.
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Post by unicorn07 on Mar 14, 2007 2:30:11 GMT
Sorry to hear about your grandma, glad though she will be getting out of the hospital! And that is good that she is back to her old self. I hope your grandma's health stays good and you won't have to deal with anymore issues with her health for now!
And thanks Mary & Robynn! For your listening and happy thoughts, things seem to be going better.
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Robynn
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Post by Robynn on Mar 14, 2007 5:23:51 GMT
hooray for going better. I hope my week ends better than it is right now. don't wanna go into detail, but I really hope I don't have to work with the person I did tonight.
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Post by snowwhite on Mar 19, 2007 15:30:03 GMT
yay afterschool detention and fat ass lecture from my head of year because i hurt my hand and was writing with my left hand instead of the right, and i asked "why" when i got told to move. My Business teacher is a stressy idiot. he actually needs anger management. He screams and shouts at us and its FINE.
sick to the back teeth of school im not going back
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Post by inthedarkness on Mar 23, 2007 3:42:48 GMT
I don't have way too much that I'm angry about. It's more like worried and sad. There are a couple of trips I'm going on at the end to the year. I want to lose a little bit more weight, but it's harder now than it was before. A couple years ago, my mom told me that on the night I was born, my dad left my mom at the hospital to play a gig. I know it sounds a little far off, but I had know idea until I was 12. Anyway, one of the guys in his band brought it up recently, and I really got upset when I got home. My dad isn't the most reliable person in the world, but that was really just... I don't know. The finishing touch, I guess. Other than that, I just don't feel right.
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Robynn
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Post by Robynn on Mar 24, 2007 23:56:31 GMT
How you doing Keely? Did you go back to school? Hope you're working things out.
inthedarkness, don't feel too bad about your dad going to a gig when you're mom was having you. my ex was in the waiting room asleep while I had mine. apparently the birth of our children bored him to sleep. at least your dad was following through on a committment and not just not wanting to be there! was he there when you were born, or did he miss the birth entirely? my thought is, birth scares the hell out of men. he may have just been too scared to watch the pain your mom had to go through to give birth to you. as much as it's traumatic for women to give birth, it's hard for the men who love them watch them having to go through it. some just don't have the spine, or internal fortitude, to go through it. ya know what I mean?
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Post by snowwhite on Mar 25, 2007 12:10:17 GMT
How you doing Keely? Did you go back to school? Hope you're working things out.
Hmm well yeah i went back, after a big disagreement with my mum, i really had no choice in the matter. The teacher gave me an afterschool for this wednesday and a yellow slip. (which isnt a good thing) but my head of year threw away the yellow slip as she said i didnt deserve it, but im still going to the after school (even though she tried cancelling it). Right now her and My form tutor are being really nice which can only be a good thing. Atleast not all teachers are being idiots. In textiles on friday i got taken out of my lesson because i had my phone out but i wasnt even using it (she told the duty member of staff i was speaking on it) it had vibrated in my bag, i realised id left it on took it our to turn it off and was just about to put it back in my bag. its weird, because these last 2 weeks ive been getting into trouble more than i have done ever before...but these last 2 weeks ive actually been trying in school, getting all my work finished, not talking much. yet now they decide to scream at me all the time? Makes me wonder what the point is... Ive wrote a letter to My head of year explaining things ( because i dont want her to think that ive started behaving badly all of a sudden, coz i havent) So it explains what happened in textiles, how much its stressing me out and how much the work is stressing me out. So i dont know what she'll do about it, but atleast ill have explained myself and she is a pretty understanding person. On the plus side..ive finally got out of seeing the school counsillor. it wasnt helping what so ever, so it was just pointless me going. So yeah..schools stressing me out.Lots. I have a skirt to finish by wednesday, but my teacher messed it up so im just not following the pattern and im just gonna make it however and how i like it. I know its not what we were meant to be doing but if it cant be fixed it cant be fixed, atleast im making the effort to do something. Also my teacher lost ALL my folder work for this project.. so i have three days to copy it from someone so i dont get in trouble for that aswell. -Rant over- =]
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